No Ladies Allowed

From the time we’re born, female humans are prompted to be sweet, delicate, polite, dainty, helpful, soft and pretty. I’ve spent 30 some-odd years first rebelling against, than attempting my best to adhere to, this very definition of being a lady. I always cross my legs, and when not, my knees are tucked gently together. Napkin upon my lap, elbows are never on the table. Although forever-clumsy, I try my best to be graceful even if that means while falling. *Sigh* There’s a lot of pressure on chicks, man.

Enter CrossFit: That sly little devil of a fitness community where ladies are left at the door. Otherwise you’ll find it mighty uncomfortable as your coach prods you to use your ass and not your thighs to get your self below parallel and back without a bounce at the bottom, chest straight up over knees, as fast as you can and with perfect form. Knees out. Keep trying. GO! Shit… what?

Exactly.

Any proper lady could also offer the advice that your hips are to remain closed, quiet and still. Shhh. A lady does not talk of such things for long. At the Box, your hips are everything. Your central power source. Thrust from the hips, bring them up, throw them out, open, stretch, let’s GO! *Deep breath* It’s intimidating as hell. Liberating, as well. Imagine your self in a squat, a weighted bar across your chest, your HIPS are the way you’re going to get your ass up to then thrust that bar straight over your head. RAH! Lady… who?

A lady would find herself flummoxed by the uncontrolled grunts, yelps, gasps and buckets of sweat pouring out of each woman’s reddened face as they push themself farther than they ever thought possible, just to finish …. a workout? But it’s more than that. It’s a routine affirmation of your ability to be successful outside your comfort zone. The zone where ladies wear sweaty tank tops and weird, flat shoes. Where your hair is a mess, your hands smell like dirt and you perspire like a man. You’re allowed to yell and drop heavy things on purpose in CrossFit, although I’m still trying to get used to the later half, still trying to leave my ‘lady’ at the door.

And yet, the most exhilarating part of being a CrossFit Lady, for me, is that you also get to walk around, pretty dress and pearls in check, knowing you could help move that tub of ice and drinks across the yard during an early afternoon brunch, but you’ll let the man of the house struggle on his own instead. A proper lady would, of course, prefer to keep her dress pressed, her nails pretty and keep the fact that she could lift that bucket over head, sprint around the block, drop into a dozen burpees and place the bucket in its desired spot all to her herself.


Have another “No Ladies Allowed” anecdote to share? Post in comments or join in the discussion on the Pushups and Carrots Facebook page.

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2 Comments on “No Ladies Allowed”

  1. Pac Man says:

    (1)I’ve never seen a bigger concentration of girls who do pull-ups than at our box.
    (2)I like those shirts that say “strong is the new skinny.”
    (3)This blog post made me realize how often I compete with girls during some of the WODs.

    Well written!

  2. Jackie says:

    Permission to be unladylike? Sounds like fun!


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